Anti-Cellulite Products: 5 Lies | Ad Absurdum #1

It’s THAT time of year again. Every glossy out there is concerned with the condition of our hips and thighs. Why, thaaaanks…

“Hey, kumquats! Your skin looks weird. You really should have smooth and firm peachy skin! But don’t worry – there’s a cure for that…”

Let me introduce the AD ABSURDUM post series that features on sweet lies told to us by the advertising industry. Today, let’s start by taking a closer look at the sad spectacle that are anti-cellulite beauty promises. While most of us might know (or have figured out by now) that the only thing slimming is the wallet, it’s still seductive to believe what the bottles tell…

LIE #1: “It’s a real problem, and it’s suuuuper ugly (=not sexy!)”

Let’s get the facts straight first.

Cellulite is actually only a real problem in the event that it comes with an -itis:
Cellulitis is a skin/tissue infection that demands serious Medical Treatment.

But is cellulite really ugly?
Something to be ashamed of?
Cellulite results from a natural mechanism in a woman’s body. Our tissue is like a fishnet, period.
That “fishnet” shows more or less with every girl, but strikingly well if we knead the skin in panic.
Other than that: It’s just how our tissue is made, ladies.
Isn’t it really obvious there can’t be any cure for a natural condition?

My opinion?
It’s only on the side of “ugly” if you’ve been really, really lazy and nasty, and gotten totally, as in totally out of shape:
your muscle tone is simply not available, your skin is saggy – brief, you look your Unhealthy Best.
This condition can or can be not your fault, this is not the point here.
The point is:
When your “orange skin” is part of a larger sad picture, then it might be a medical and not just an aesthetic problem.
If you’re in great shape, with a glowing healthy skin, a few bumps here and there should not bother you.
And I’m yet to meet someone who is in great shape and has crazypants cellulite!

There’s more to life than a peachy derriere.”

And shame on you if you needed this post to remember that.

LIE #2: “Product X exfoliates so that the treatment works better!”

Yes, of course, freshly exfoliated skin is rosy and fresh (and


Geeking out about all things truly green, healthy and ethical over at (Avatar illustration by A. Goncharenko)

6 Responses

  1. hanimaelsa

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  2. BLYSS chocolate

    Water and exercise are free and the best body shapers. Again, nature provides the beauty secrets for us.

  3. I’m actually ok with my cellulite. It’s not very bad but of course I have some (who doesn’t?!). But I have other issues to worry about more!

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